Selfishness is closely related to the inability to hear, as our preoccupation with our self makes us deaf to another's voice. To overcome this, we can learn to consider all matters thoughtfully with due respect to our spouse’s point of view. This honest approach, which avoids manipulation and partiality to one’s own insights, facilitates finding a better conclusion than one person could have attained alone. It is unlikely that the best possible decision will be made if one person imposes his or her will on the other. After all, our will, our deep conviction of what is undoubtedly “right” and Krishna conscious, may actually be the zeal experienced by neophyte devotees, who, in the words of Krishnadas Kaviraja Gosvami are “ expert in arguing though they have no sense of advanced devotional service.” (Cc Madhya 2.93) In other words, without being aware of it, our dearly held opinion may cloak selfishness.
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By Visakha Dasi
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