Once, this Azerbaijan devotee, Garuda Vahana Das and I were at the University of Utah, where practically everyone is fixed up in Mormonism, and we approached a student reading outside on a bench.
Garuda: (Russian accent) Excuse me, I have book for you, about Yoga, you know, meditation.
Student: That sounds great, but I think I’m okay.
(Garuda always wears common cloth, and I always go in dhoti, so at this time the kid starts seeing me and begins to understand what’s up)
Garuda: No this is a spiritual yoga. It talks about karma, you heard of karma?
Student: Oh I see, which religion are you? I’m Mormon and (holding Easy Journey) I think that this stuff is against my religion.
Me: But you are a student here right? Surely you have studied Darwinism, and Big Bang Theory right?
Student: Yeah…..well…
Me: Well that’s against your religion, we are for creationism also, this book scientifically proves the soul and God.
Student: (Feeling a bit embarrassed, but amused) well, I guess you are right, okay I’ll take it..
Another time at Utah Valley State, I was approaching people outside. I learned this really corny but funny line when I used to hippie around to all the Phil Lesh Grateful Dead shows back in the day. We would go around the parking lot and try to make everyone smile especially people who looked morose. So I decided to use it as a cold approach.
Me: (Seeing a morose-faced girl coming) Hey excuse me you dropped your….(pointing to the ground) ……your smile.
(People by reaction immediately smile to this cheesy one)
Me: Here I have a book for you….have you heard of stress
Her: Have I ever!
(Seeing that she also had bulging belly, being serious now, I asked)
Me: So How many months pregnant are you?
Her: That’s what I’m so stressed out about, I’m not pregnant! I have this beer belly from hell, I’m poor, I have no money….I’m always depressed.
(I could tell she was serious, but still she was kind of smiling, so I was confused a little because I swear she was pregnant, she looked like it! but she seemed serious).
Me: Oh….. I’m so sorry. I’ll tell you what, in this book here it talks about how we are not the body, but spirit soul and how we can end all misery in life by mantra meditation. Just give a small donation for the printing.
Her: Okay (she said firmly) I only have 5 dollars. It’s all I have to my name. It better be good. Is it?
Me: I swear it!
ALL GLORIES TO SRILA PRABHUPADA, WHO BY HIS MERCY ALLOWS US TO ENGAGE IN SUCH A SERVICE. ALL GLORIES TO THE AMAZING SPIRITUAL MASTER WHO PICKS UP FALLEN CRIMINALS AND OUTLAWS OF DHARMA AND ENGAGES THEM AS IF THEY WERE ALREADY ON THE DEVOTIONAL PLATFORM!
Your Servent, Bk John
Spanish Fork, Utah